Today is my last day working at the Out of The Box Event. (ooohh, no more attention from people!! T_T) Anyway, after I finished my shift there, I went to the city with my friend, Maya. I need to buy oil resistant sole shoes for working. (yea, got new job at kfc, so I will be working at 2 places start from next week).
I walked around in the city lookin for shoes shops. It's night shopping today so every shops close at 9 pm. Maya and I went to eat at the Japs restaurant first cause we were so damn hungry. After we finished eating, walked to the big mall near there, while we were waiting to cross the street, there was a lady approached me. She asked me to buy a 'Big Issue' magazines, it's only 5 bucks each. I rejected her nicely, cause I didnt really know what is it about. I dont want to buy some nonsense news about 'do you really believe aliens?' or 'how to convert everybody to become a vegetarian'. But then she said to me that she and her friends there selling the magazines to make a living, apparently they're homeless.
I felt bad and I wanted to buy it, but the lights already turned green and I wasnt sure if I have some money left in my wallet, so I smiled and said sorry to her then I walked away. I couldn't stop think about it since then. I keep thinking (even until now), maybe I should buy the magazines, I mean, even only 1 magz, probably it could help them. I told Maya about this. We were about to buy it, but nobody around us seemed even bother to look at it. So we were thinking, is it true? the things that she told me, that she selling that magazines to make a living? But why nobody care about that? or they just wanted to not care about that?
Silent Brisbane, that's what's I was thinking, when I saw people including me stayed in silence, turned our cold back to that lady.
I dont want to be some kind of hero or saviour. I dont want to look like a nice and kind girl in front of others. I just couldn't stop thinking about that. Sometimes I feel bad, like I could buy a 100 dollars pair of shoes but I couldnt spare 5 bucks for people who needs it. But again when I started to think like that, the voices inside me head also started talking.
"No, you didnt do any mistake! You worked for that shoes! You want those shoes, that is why you worked to get it!"
"No, she's wrong! Dont defend her for that! She can please herself, get what she wants, but she has to consider about other people too! She cant be a selfish human being!"
"It's not selfish! She just gives herself a reward after working hard. If they want to make a living, they have to work hard too!"
"They are working hard! Selling the magazines? Hello!! They're trying too! They just need a little help. Some people can reach the top of the mountain by themselves, but some need a help. Every person is different."
And yea, they kept arguing..... still... -_-"
Those 2 people are not helping at all!! They're aguing everytime I have a problem or have a bad feeling even when I'm feel happy! cant believe it! >.<
I've decided, when I see that lady again, I'll just but the magz. I think that's a better way, so I wont be thinking about it anymore.
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